


Hi! My name is Thomas. What’s yours?

by nackledamia



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, I don't think this needs a tw but just in case because TJ is kinda sad at the beginning, M/M, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-25
Updated: 2018-02-25
Packaged: 2019-03-23 23:40:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13798797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nackledamia/pseuds/nackledamia
Summary: Thomas has been writing messages to his Soulmate for years. His Soulmate has never responded.James has never attempted to contact his Soulmate and doesn’t care who the universe assigned him to be with. James has chosen to love Thomas, to be with Thomas.Thomas is uncomfortable standing between James and his universe-assigned love. He decides to reach out to James’ Soulmate to give himself peace of mind.Hi! My name is James. What’s yours?





	Hi! My name is Thomas. What’s yours?

The first thing Thomas did every morning was grab the Sharpie on his bedside table and write on his arm.

**Hi! My name is Thomas. What’s yours?**

It was the last thing he rubbed off his body every night when he showered before bed.

Sometimes Thomas added a smiley face at the end. Sometimes he drew a heart. Sometimes he scrawled his signature down.

For 15 years, Thomas wrote the same line on his arm.

For 15 years, there was no response.

When he was younger, Thomas fantasized about who his Soulmate might be and how they might look like. They would be perfect in every way; someone out there in the world made just for him, his other half waiting for him to complete them.

When he was in his teens and everyone had begun regular conversations on their arms with their Soulmates, Thomas began to attribute the lack of response to other factors. Maybe his Soulmate was blind and couldn’t see his messages. Maybe his Soulmate didn’t have an arm. Maybe his Soulmate didn’t know English and thus never responded.

Without a Soulmate’s response, Thomas was ostracized by the other teens and shoved together with James, the other oddball in school.

James didn’t care about Soulmates. He didn’t believe in destiny. He didn’t want to be tied down by ‘what the universe dictated’. He wanted to make his own decisions. He always wore long sleeves to hide his arms and the words that might appear there. James never attempted to communicate with his Soulmate.

Thomas wished he could be more like James. He wished he didn’t care what other people thought. He wished he didn’t care what the universe had assigned his life to be.

Unfortunately, Thomas cared. He cared too much. He minded what other people thought of him. He wanted what the universe had in store for him.

To James’ disapproval, Thomas kept writing on his arm.

**Hi! My name is Thomas. What’s yours?**

Now, Thomas wondered if there was even anyone out there waiting for him. If he was destined for a lonely life. If he was truly, completely alone in the world.

He wondered if the universe had forgotten to give him a partner, or if _he_ was the universe’s mistake.

Sometimes, Thomas looked at James and hated himself for falling in love with him. He hated himself for being jealous of James’ Soulmate. He hated himself for wishing Soulmates didn’t exist.

James belonged to someone else. James wasn’t Thomas’ to love. Despite what he claimed, James would never love Thomas the way Thomas loved him.

James had been created for someone out there. Thomas couldn’t offer James the sort of fulfilment his Soulmate could give him. James would never love Thomas as much as he would love his Soulmate.

It was simply biological; instinctual. James was wired the same way as everyone else, despite his determination to live an independent life away from his destined fate. Thomas was merely a distraction for him. A filler. A rebellious phase.

One day, James would meet his Soulmate. His Soulmate would give him everything Thomas could not. James would leave Thomas and Thomas wouldn’t blame James. Couldn’t blame James.

James was not his Soulmate. James did not really love him. They were not destined to be together.

Thomas looked up at James on the couch opposite him and admired what could never truly be his. James, dressed in a comfy turtleneck sweater with a cup of tea in one hand and a book in the other. James, curled up against the armrest of the couch, thick eyebrows furrowed in concentration. James, a gentle beast, a kind soul, a literal angel.

Thomas looked down at the red patch of skin on his arm; he had been distractedly rubbing his thumb over the written words while wallowing in self-pity.

**Hi! My name is Thomas. What’s yours?**

Thomas pressed his thumb down and rubbed the words even harder. He didn’t know why he continued to write the useless message on his arm everyday. It was a constant reminder that he was worthless, unnecessary, a waste of space. He didn’t have a Soulmate. He was an accident, a mistake. He wasn't meant to exist. He didn’t belong in this world.

If he removed himself from this world, would anyone miss him? 

“Thomas,” James said, interrupting Thomas’ thoughts. Thomas looked up to see James frowning at him. “Stop that.”

Thomas lifted his thumb from his arm and clenched his fist, casting his gaze to the ground. Yet another reason why Thomas could not fulfil James’ needs. All he brought James was anguish. James would never truly be happy with him.

“Stop that,” James repeated.

“I’m not doing anything,” Thomas mumbled in response.

“Stop thinking about how you made me worry and how I’ll never be happy with you,” James’ voice remained gruff but his tone softened. “I worry about you because I care. I care about you because you make me happy and I hate seeing you like this.”

“No one cares about me,” Thomas muttered back. “No one loves me.”

“I love you,” James countered.

“You’re lying,” Thomas immediately shot back.

James sighed and there was the clutter of his cup and the thump of his book on the table. James stood up and shuffled towards Thomas, kneeling on one knee so he met Thomas’ downcast eyes. James lifted Thomas’ thumb off his arm- when had he started rubbing his arm again?- and took Thomas’ hands in his.

“I love you,” James said again, earnest, squeezing his hand, truthful eyes staring deep into Thomas’ incomplete soul. “I don’t care what the universe says. I love you, Thomas.”

Thomas looked away. James didn’t love him. James would never truly love him.

“You can’t love me,” Thomas argued, his strangled voice reflecting how broken he felt, “I’m not your Soulmate.”

“The universe can’t tell me what to think, Thomas,” James told him firmly. “The universe can’t tell me who to love. I’ve made up my mind. I love _you_ , Thomas.”

“What if one day,” Thomas paused to take a deep breath, his voice shaking, “one day, you meet your Soulmate and decide you don’t love me anymore?”

“I have never and I will never make contact with my universe-assigned Soulmate, Thomas, you know that,” James tightened his grip on Thomas’ hands, “if I ever meet my Soulmate on the streets, do you really think that some random person could outweigh the years of happiness you have given me? The years of devotion I have given to you?”

“But they’re your Soulmate,” Thomas argued again, softer this time, tired of this conversation. James didn’t understand where Thomas was coming from. Thomas didn’t understand where James was coming from.

This was the kind of disconnection between them that only solidified Thomas’ beliefs that James could never truly love him. They were not made for each other. They would never be together forever.

“Again with the Soulmate nonsense. I chose _you_ ,” James continued to insist, standing up and pulling Thomas up with him. Thomas was taller but he always felt so small around James. James took up more space with all his confidence and self-assurance. Thomas wanted to be more like James. He didn’t know how to be more like James.

James released one hand and wrapped an arm around Thomas’ waist, holding him close. “Do you love me too?”

“I do,” Thomas whispered, still avoiding James’ intense gaze, staring off to the side. His heart ached for James to be truly his. “I love you too.”

“Then it’s settled,” James tilted his head upwards and met Thomas on his lips, holding the kiss firmly for a moment before letting Thomas go. “No more worrying about the Soulmate nonsense, yeah?”

“Okay,” Thomas agreed.

James squeezed Thomas’ hand one last time before letting him go.

Thomas sat back down, watching James as he took his book and tea upstairs to his room. James would read in bed for the next few hours and turn in after Thomas.

Thomas knew because he fell asleep to the sound of James showering every night. He woke up to the sound of James clanging pans and making breakfast every morning. James’ never-changing daily routine throughout all their years together was just one of the few things Thomas loved about James.

It was one of the few things Thomas knew James’ Soulmate would love about him too.

Thomas stood up and headed to his room as well. He undressed and turned on the shower, letting hot water dretch him and drown his soul-crushing thoughts. His thumb found its way back to his arm and he began to rub the words off, black ink smudging and flowing down his arm like another part of his already incomplete soul going down the drain.

How could he not worry about James’ Soulmate? They were out there waiting for James, being ignored by James, probably feeling as terrible as Thomas felt without a Soulmate. James’ Soulmate, questioning their validity in this world with an unfulfilled soul waiting for love to complete them.

Thomas would know; he was very familiar with such emotions.

No matter what James said, his decision to be with Thomas was unfair to his Soulmate. James’ Soulmate deserved to know that James had chosen Thomas over them. James’ Soulmate deserved at least an explanation in order to move on with their life.

Thomas would give it to them. It was the least he could do for James’ Soulmate and a step he could take towards accepting that James might truly be his one day.

Thomas changed into his short-sleeved pajamas and slipped into bed, wide awake as he waited to hear James’ shower turn on. Wide awake as he heard James stomping around his room after his shower. Wide awake as James’ snores began to fill the air.

Thomas slipped out of bed quietly, grabbing the Sharpie by his bedside. He slipped into James’ room and sat at the corner of his bed, lifting and cradling James’ right arm in his. Carefully, Thomas pushed James’ sleeve up and poised his Sharpie over James’ arm.

James continued to snore. He was a heavy sleeper.

Thomas would write a message to James’ Soulmate and leave it on his arm for a day. James wouldn’t notice it with his sleeve down, not until he showered tomorrow night. Thomas would deal with the consequences then but right now, he had to set things right for James’ Soulmate.

**Hi! My name is James. What’s yours?**

Thomas paused. He had begun with his own standard introduction and was now unsure how to continue. His own arm itched and Thomas made a mental note to rub some cream on his arm before falling asleep; years of toxic ink must have caused rashes or something.

**I have found true love in someone else and wanted you to know that you are now free to pursue whatever love interest you might have in your life without being tied down by the ridiculous restrictions of ‘Soulmates’ the universe has placed on us.**

That sounded good to Thomas. It sounded like something James would say.

Thomas bit his lip and kept his eyes on the words he had written on James’ arm as he scratched his right arm. His arm wasn’t exactly itchy, but it was ticklish, like a feather dragged back and forth on his skin.

**I wish you all the best in your future endeavours and if we were to ever meet, I hope we might still remain cordial friends, supportive of each other’s pursuits in life.**

**Best regards, James**

Thomas dropped James’ arm on his lap and finally looked up at his own arm, reaching his other hand over to scratch the itch.

Thomas froze, black ink in a familiar handwriting scribbled down the length of his right arm. He squinted a little closer at the first line on his arm.

**Hi! My name is James. What’s yours?**

He gazed down at James’ arm and back up at the identical writing that had appeared on his arm.

Thomas dropped the Sharpie and began rubbing at the words on his arm.

He couldn’t get the words off because they didn’t originate from his arm.

“Thomas?” James finally stirred awake, his voice thick with sleep, probably disturbed by Thomas’ loud gasps right next to him in the otherwise silent house.

“Thomas?” James repeated when Thomas didn’t respond, pushing himself up into a sitting position and lifting his right arm off Thomas’ lap. He blinked, frowning as he looked at his own and Thomas’ identical words-filled arm. Still groggy, he was slow in grasping what the situation at hand was. “What is going on…?” James finally muttered, not understanding what he saw before him.

“I hate you,” Thomas whispered, voice emerging a little louder than he intended to. “I hate you. I hate you!”

“I don’t-” James began, before understanding dawned upon him and James widened his eyes, gaze flickering between both their arms, wide awake now.

“For years,” Thomas swallowed in an attempt to stabilize his trembling voice, “I have been hating myself for breaking the laws of the universe. Hating myself for falling in love with you. Hating myself for standing between you and your destined love.”

“Thomas, you know I don’t care-”

“ _But I care!_ ” Thomas screamed at James. James winced at his outburst, opening his mouth to say something and closing it again wordlessly. “I care, James! And this entire time-”

Thomas gestured at the identical words on their arms, choking on a sob.

“This entire time, you were mine to begin with,” Thomas finished, hunched over and dissolving into a mess, sobbing into James’ chest as James wrapped him in a hug.

“I hate you,” Thomas repeated like a broken record, “I hate you.”

“I’m sorry,” James whispered, “I’m sorry, Thomas.”

James held Thomas in his arms, shushing him gently, rubbing his back soothingly, until his sobs lessened into whimpers and then into sniffles.

“I love you,” James spoke solemnly, breaking the silence between them.

That made Thomas break down again. James tightened his grip around Thomas, pressing kisses against his neck.

“I love you,” Thomas echoed, “I love you too.”

Thomas eventually relaxed in James’ arms, listening to James hum softly as he traced circles against Thomas’ lower back with a finger.

James’ entire being was large and crushing and soul-filling. Now that Thomas could let go of his insecurities and his doubts towards loving James, James’ touch healed the pain and mended the hole in his heart. Now that Thomas could give himself fully to James, James filled the gap in his soul.

James completed him. They were made for each other. They were meant for each other.

“I love you,” Thomas said again, almost desperate to hear James’ reassurance.

“I love you too,” James smiled, “I have always loved you, even before we knew we were Soulmates.”

Thomas whimpered, leaning forward and resting his forehead against James’, closing his eyes and letting James’ presence comfort him.

James pulled apart and Thomas opened his eyes, whining with the loss. James cradled Thomas’ chin with a hand, pressing a kiss to his lips.

“I told you you didn’t have to worry about the Soulmate nonsense,” James chuckled softly.

Thomas nodded and pushed James back down on the bed, curling up beside him, resting his head on James’ chest. He wrapped his left hand over his right arm, as though protecting the words that had appeared there. The words he had written on James’ arm for James’ Soulmate. _He was James’ Soulmate._

**Hi! My name is James. What's yours?**

“My name is Thomas,” Thomas whispered, closing his eyes. James hummed his agreement and Thomas smiled, letting James’ soothing hand running through his curls lull him back to sleep.

They could deal with the new, open development in their relationship tomorrow. After all, they had all the time in the world waiting for them.

They were destined to be together.

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you thought of this story?
> 
> [talk to me on tumblr!](http://nackledamia.tumblr.com)


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